Reminds me of this old one:

The plural of *spouse* is *spice*.

- Pauli

Teacher: What is 2k + k?

Student: 3000

Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?

Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"

"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"

Trigonometry for farmers: swine and coswine...

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

Q: How can you tell that Harvard was planned by a mathematician?

A: The div school is right next to the grad school...

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and misses it on the right.

The third one shouts: "We've hit it!"

cheers

cfh

I can't resist:

What do you get if you cross an alligator and an elephant?

|alligator| |elephant| sin(theta)

Why can't you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

You can't cross a vector with a scaler!

A panel of scientists were summoned to witness an experiment:

A couple (man and woman, both young) enter a small car, which is parked at some distance from the observation point.

Some time passes, some noises are heard, and soon a doctor comes saying that three human beings had just left the car.

The panel members' opinions:

The biologist: They have had a baby.

The physicist: There should have been a third person, hidden in the car from the beginning. Otherwise, conservation laws would have been violated.

The mathematician: The car will become empty again when the next person enters it.